You didn’t choose to have infertility and it’s definitely not your fault.
#NIAW 18th – 24th April
Infertility isn’t like a broken leg or arm; you can’t see it and it can’t be repaired in a few weeks. But someone with a broken bone seems to get much more sympathy and understanding than someone who’s having problems conceiving. Weird. And because people can’t see your pain, they often don’t take it seriously when you share that you’re having difficulties, and/or that you have had one or more pregnancy losses. This is why they’ll often say things like ‘Just relax then it’ll happen’ or ‘Have one of mine’ or worse still ‘Everything happens for a reason’.
The stress of dealing with infertility has been compared to the stress when someone is going through cancer, yet cancer patients thankfully aren’t told ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Neither should someone living with infertility hear this.
Infertility and pregnancy loss are still taboo subjects and people are uncomfortable talking about it, just like they once were uncomfortable talking about cancer. But with 1 in 8 couples from all ages, religions, countries, plus many single women, living with infertility, it shouldn’t be taboo to talk about it in this century, and it’s plain wrong that there’s still a lot of stigma and ignorance.
Those of us in the TTC and loss community know this and support others relentlessly so that they don’t feel alone. We share our stories, successful and unsuccessful, we share all the rollercoaster of emotions – anger, frustration, sadness, envy, hopelessness, depressions, anxiety, hope, excitement, grief – we send virtual hugs when someone is having a down moment so they know we are thinking about them and that we care. A lot.
But the wider world outside of this community need to know these statistics, need to know our stories, need to know how it feels to live with infertility and that they, without a doubt, know someone who has been or is still affected by infertility. And this is why @resolve founded the #NIAW movement, whose mission is to empower you and change the conversation around infertility. It won’t happen overnight but every action, even the tiny ones, together will make an impact.
I am one of the lucky ones as every day I see my miracle donor egg rainbow baby, and I don’t want her or any of her friends, if they are affected by infertility when they’re older, to have to deal with the stigma and shame around today. And this is why I talk about my story to anyone who’ll listen and why I support this community.
So, my gift to you this #NIAW2021 is a FREE copy of my ebook ‘This is Trying to Conceive; real-life experiences from the TTC community’ – I started giving away 10,000 copies in NFAW2020. In the book, there are over 30 true and inspiring stories from infertility warriors around the world.
To get your copy, click here: Free Ebook – MFS Books or buy my books on Amazon. Lots of love Sheila xx