Our resident Agony Auntie Jo has some tips for practising self-love and self-care, as we head towards a very unusual Valentine’s day!

blond haired woman with her back to us sitting on a wall overlooking a vast dark blue mountain, illustrating the self love for valentines day artilce at best fertility now


As I’m working a lot with people over Zoom and on the ‘phone, I’m picking up that women and couples on their fertility journey are not feeling too romantic this year! Normally we are planning our outfit for our Valentine date night, but this year we are out of luck!

Remember that things are very stressful right now, and it’s natural to not feel excited or romantic

When all around you feels a little overwhelming and the journey ahead uncertain, now more than ever you need to consciously show yourself some love and kindness.

Get back to basics by simply breathing

When was the last time you gave yourself some time out and kindness that you rightly deserve? Probably ages ago. It’s time to just STOP! Get off the rollercoaster and breathe. It’s easy! Take long deep breaths, feet on the floor, feel your tummy rise and fall and concentrate on nothing but re-connecting to yourself. Get in touch with your emotions, and take this time you deserve to just be at one with yourself.

I’ve listed some tips below, so you can go through and pick out anything that appeals to you.

Top tips to show yourself some love:

  • Have healthy boundaries for self-preservation and protection and don’t take on too much. It is OK to say NO!
  • Spend time with animals or pets when you give and receive love. This will give you instant gratification and make you feel lifted and appreciated.
  • Listen to some great tracks, make up a feel-good playlist and even have a random mind day dance. This will give you some great uplifting energy.
  • Get a journal to write down and dump your thoughts and worries, or write yourself a letter, but one in which you are kind to yourself, forgiving, complimenting and supportive. This is cathartic for the soul.tarmac ground with leaves scattered across it with the words you got this written in white chalk, illustrating self love
  • Venture outdoors and connect with nature, have fresh air, be mindful of the small things and the beauty and wonder of nature however small and try to appreciate life around you.
  • Watch a feel-good movie that will raise your spirits and make you feel cosy and fuzzy or even a little flushed and flirty.
    Have some pamper time and make yourself feel nice, you deserve it! What’s good for the body is also good for the mind
    Bake or cook up a treat and only share it f you want to.
  • Have a lie-in or an early night. Sleep deprivation impacts our mental and physical capacity to function. It affects our clarity and perception of everything! When we lose sleep to stress and worry, remember that worry does not change the outcome, and things are always seen more clearly when the sun rises on a new day.
  • De-clutter, reorganise, clear out your home, workspace, wardrobe, junk room or even just your inbox and your mind will feel better for it.

These are just a few of my top tips for self-care and self-love, while we’re all going through this very strange time! I’d love to hear your tips, so please feel free to leave a comment below.